the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
