BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
