nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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