went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize