have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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