I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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