It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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