sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
