Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
