The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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