Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
