I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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