we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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