Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
