I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
youre lurking in front of me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
