You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
