I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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