just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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