I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
