I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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