I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
