I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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