I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
