he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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