i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
