Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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