Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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