Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
