I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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