Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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