How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
