I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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