I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
