shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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