I just made out with a guy for $7.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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