I just made out with a guy for $7.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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