so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
