you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
