If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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