Just cropdusted the office
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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