You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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