and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
accomplished twins. life is a go
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
