rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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