Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
