Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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