xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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