Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
