I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
