real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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