So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
