i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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