ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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