I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
